Love @ The Frisky

Dear Wendy: "Did I MOA Too Soon?"

2011-09-26T16:00:47+00:00

For the past couple of months, I have been flirting with a co-worker who was very shy at first, but took an interest in my hobbies, complimented me every day, gave me pet names, and generally seemed very interested. After a month and a half, he finally asked me for my number and I kind of "helped him along" by asking when he could hang out. I was so excited about our date, but he canceled last minute for a legitimate reason and asked if we could reschedule. Even though he stopped by my office to flirt and chat the next week, he never rescheduled but asked what I was doing that weekend and seemed upset and walked away when I said that I was spending time with a male friend. When I told him my friend was gay, he perked up and kept the conversation going, and I told him to call me if he wanted to hang out and he said he would.

Well, he never called or texted to say that he wouldn't be available, but first thing Monday morning he asks if I was feeling better (I had been sick the week before), told me I looked nice, and apologized for not calling because he (being the nice guy) ended up helping a friend move. I gave him the cold shoulder. I am so confused about the inconsistency between his flirtatious interest and his non-committal attitude toward getting to know me more that I deleted his number, defriended him on Facebook, and haven't been speaking to him. He looks very sad when I see him, but I feel like I may have read him wrong this whole time and am afraid that he's only been nice because he doesn't know how to say no to me. Did I give up too soon or should I just MOA? — Office Crush(ed)

Things Girls Love, But Guys Hate

2011-09-25T18:30:33+00:00

This list could go on forever. By nature, girls and guys are opposites, and there is an endless list of things we disagree on. I mean, haven't you ever read the book Men Are From Mars, Women are From Venus? I haven't either, but I hear it exists. Point is, there are many things that don't cross the barrier between girls and guys, and we here at College Candy would like to give you a little authority on the basics. Read more…

6 Conversations I Like To Have With Myself

2011-09-23T19:00:08+00:00

"I talk to myself. Constantly," Sarah Jessica Parker admitted in a recent interview with People. She claims her audible self-convos are not a sign of insanity, but a coping mechanism for keeping her life together. Hallelujah! I am so glad she came clean about this because I also talk to myself. If my world is flowing, the mute button on my internal dialogue remains on. But when things don't go exactly as planned (which, let's face it, is a lot of the time) that's when the conversation goes live "On Air." It's like a defense mechanism that keeps me from short-circuiting. Ironically, I think it keeps me from becoming one of those crazy ladies on the street muttering to herself. Well, at least I hope so.

After the jump, my favorite kinds of conversations to have with myself.

Dear Wendy: "I Have Feelings For My Friend's Crush"

2011-09-22T17:00:01+00:00

Through one of my close friends I met this guy. We quickly became friends and now hang out with the same group of people. His sense of humor is the same as mine and we also see eye-to-eye on many topics. He's made it clear that he would be interested in a relationship and I think if we started dating, we would work well together. There's just one thing stopping me, and that is the friend who introduced us. Not that long ago she mentioned that she's interested in him and has been for a few years. When I think of the two of them together, I do think they would be a good match as well, BUT I don't realistically see them getting together. It's worth mentioning that she knows he's interested in me, but has no idea of my true feelings for him. I'm having a hard time deciding if I should take the chance with the guy and more than likely damage my friendship with her with no guarantee that the relationship will last, or just forget about him and find someone who none of my friends are into. What do you think? — Feelings for Friend's Crush

Things That Happen When You Write About Sex On The Internet

2011-09-21T18:00:32+00:00

One of the hazards of writing on the Internet for a living is how everything will show up on a Google search. On a day-to-day basis, I'm mostly an open book writing about my opinions, my sexuality, my depression, and even my love life. My private life is private, but a lot of topics that other people consider private are the very things I write about daily.

There are times, however, when I regret being as open as I am. Not everyone is accepting; my openness makes me vulnerable towards people I barely know. I'm still human and I still care what people think about me. Sometime a girl wants people to get to know her good parts first and the rest of her human-being-messiness sl-o-w-ly. Nowhere is this more apparent than in dating — especially online dating, where as soon as you find out someone's last name you Google it and make sure they're not a serial killer. If a gentleman caller Googles me, there is lots to read. Imagine how an ordinary person feels about her employer finding her Facebook page and then imagine the guy who have a crush on having access to your id.

Yet, to a certain extent, blogging acts as a "douchebag filter" by keeping certain guys away. Recently I was chatting with a fellow I met online who I'd really been into until ... well ... he completely blew it before we'd even met. How'd he screw up so bad? He wrote to me in an IM conversation, and I quote, "But how could I ever date someone that if my parents Googled her, there is writing that she likes to be called a slut?"

How indeed. Our IM conversation, for your perusal, after the jump:

Soapbox: Celebrate Your Dang Anniversary In Person—Not On Facebook!

2011-09-20T18:00:11+00:00

If you wish your spouse a happy anniversary in the privacy of your own home, does it count? Apparently not. I've noticed an influx of wedding anniversary, humblebrag updates on Facebook lately. Here are a few favorite examples posted in the last month*:

"Five years ago this very day, I married the man I love. We danced to "L-O-V-E" as sung by Natalie Cole. Today, our anniversary, we plan to keep that dance going. Dearest Kevin, I do!"

Girl Talk: We Made A Long-Distance Relationship Work From 10,000 Miles Away

2011-09-20T17:00:18+00:00

I was finishing college when I met my husband, Jason*, a carefree, polite Australian with dreamy blue eyes and shaggy brown hair who was on an extended working holiday. The attraction to his laissez faire personality and quirky accent was arguably a naive American girl's knee-jerk reaction to a breakup with a controlling and insecure Brit. Yet, it is undeniable that our romance was of Hollywood screenwriting caliber. Set in the picturesque town of St. Andrews, Scotland — ironically at the same time and place where Prince William courted Duchess Catherine — I allowed this delicious Aussie, four years my senior, to sweep me off my feet. We strolled hand-in-hand through ruins on the beaches that lined the North Sea, snuck kisses in-between pints at our favourite pubs on Sunday afternoons, and celebrated my graduation from St. Andrews University in the company of my entire family, who embraced him immediately. I knew he was a keeper when he broke into the Royal and Ancient Golf Club where he worked to show me the grandiose dining room, which had banned women patrons centuries ago.

Nonetheless, reality always finds a way to spoil the fairytale. Soon after graduation, I returned to my parents' house in Connecticut and Jason returned to his native Australia. While most flings abroad are retired, Jason and I couldn't shake the feeling that we might be soul mates. We agreed to take a stab at our fledging union and if it didn't work, we would walk away with dignity and respect knowing that we tried our best. Thus began a journey that far outweighed the rarity of our early beginnings as Jason and B.B. Truly, what was most unforeseen was not the juggling of the typical long-distance relationship, but where this brand of relationship took us and the questions we inevitably had to answer.

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Dave?

2011-09-19T17:40:49+00:00

I found this graffiti on a building in my neighborhood over the weekend. I wonder, does Dave live there? Or was Dave's girlfriend just trying to work out her relationship problems out loud, on the side of a building? Most of us just change our Facebook statuses…

The Top 6 College Hook-Up Blunders

2011-09-18T20:30:27+00:00

If you're a single college girl, chances are you have had a "what was I thinking" hook-up. Thanks to liquor, hormones, and the bad decisions of myself and my friends, I've been witness to more than a few. Here's a list of the most common…and awkward. My sincerest apologies if I resurface any unpleasant memories.

1. The Floormate/Neighbor: Floorcest, as it has been deemed, is the college equivalent of sleeping with a coworker. Not only is it hard to avoid the dude, but you probably have mutual friends, floormates, and neighbors just waiting to call you both out. In rare cases it does work out (two of my neighbors have been dating for months!) but 99% of the time, that one night results in a whole semester or two of awkward. Read more…

7 Things That Make You Undateable

2011-09-18T18:30:24+00:00

If you're having trouble finding that special person to love or even just have some fun with, you may need to examine how you act on a first date. A first date is generally the deciding factor of whether a person is disgusted or intrigued by you. Here are some things that you may be doing wrong:

1. Talking about your ex. No one wants to hear about your horrible breakup or lingering communication with the guy or girl you dated for the past five years. Opening up about your ex is fine down the road - during the obligatory "tell me about your past loves" talk that boyfriends and girlfriends have - but blurting it all out on the first date just signals emotional baggage. If you're not over your ex, don't attempt dating until you've seen a therapist.